The last four times I’ve gone to a bar by myself I have had the full attention of a single older man. Let me just put out there that I sincerely doubt it’s because I represent any sort of dating/sexual prospect for these gentleman. Now that we got that out of they way, I want to say thank you to Guillaume, Pat, Chris, and Gil. You’re all great, albeit lonely, dudes. Thanks for the advice, info on Montreal, and bacon. All interactions have been supremely positive, until we’ve parted ways. My head starts reeling, what am I doing wrong? Am I going to be lonely when I’m 45, 55, 65? How do I prevent this? Ugh…from here on out I’ll try to focus on the waitresses.
No I won’t.
Here’s the thing, I don’t believe on picking up girls at bars. Other than my belief that an establishment that serves mind altering substances is not an ideal place to meet new people, I could give a shit less that you got all dolled up to come to a place called the Pumphouse. I don’t care about you or you’re cardigan and I’m sure as hell not buying you a vodka Red Bull.
Fact: I’ve never bought a female, who I didn’t know previously, a drink at a bar.
I’m pretty proud of that. You don’t deserve it, ladies. Although that Cardigan does look decent on you.
Getting back to the four old men. They all wondered why I didn’t have a “lady.” I took their comments as a compliment, but none of them resembled the love child of a NFL Tight End and Founding Member of a Northern California Biker Gang like I do. I simply had to explain to them that people in general, let alone women at bars, are put off with my mere presence. It’s funny how they completely got what I was saying. It’s sad but true.
Oh and another thing, I don’t hit on waitresses or bartenders. They are working, it’s just not right, slick. Yeah I’m calling YOU slick now. Also, don’t whistle at the bartender. At least in my presence.